Friday, July 16, 2004

Just because...

Lacking motivation.
Slightly paranoid that I'm losing my mind- because I have no outlet and no car..
For once in my life, I'm looking forward to summer just because i'll be able to go to the beach.. I'll probably miss getting to wear coats and beanies and jackets tho..
Can you be infatuated with some you're not sure if you like? Like really infatuated? My problem is that i'm too quiet and too easily influenced by others.. and too lost for words.
Am obsessed with Studio Ghibli and Miyazaki.
Wish I knew how to judge people's character.. be more empathetic, and know what people are thinking and feeling. Wish i was more of a people's person. Hate the fact that I've got a quiet voice which gets quieter when i'm nervous. I like the fact that i'm sarcastic- but that often backfires.. =p
I like random things..Like when people smile for no particular reason, when people walking by are lost in though and start smiling or laughing for no disternable reason..
There's a dead magpie carcass I pass every morning i walk to school. It's been there forever. I wonder if one day it'll be cleaned up or if it'll lie there in the sidewalk scrub until it decomposes?
Ebay is evil and addictive and I should quit buying things if I know what's best for me!
Is it bad of me to admit I like the feel of lungs? They're all squishy and airated and light- like mousse.. but not really.. Sometimes I think I'm a bit strange..
Want to paint like I used to paint. But have kinda lost "the touch". "The touch" is just the confidence that you could create something that you image in your mind. (at least.. that's what happened to me. I had this great confidence that I could reproduce something that I saw so vividly in my mind. And it would appear on the piece of canvas/paper in front of me.) They say u need skills, but it's just the belief that you can do something.

Perhaps I should get to bed.. yes, I should, before I get keyboardface.

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