Wednesday, November 09, 2005

(This photo is an ode to gamblor...=p)

-----I'm feeling rather stretched. As Bilbo Baggins said, kinda spread out thin like a bit of butter on too much bread. I'm tired of studying. I'm wanting to get out and have fun. I'm wanting to get on with my life and start working. I feel like i'm doing things in reverse. Move out of home when i'm still studying. Worrying about bills and groceries and cooking, when most people i know are worried about which top to wear to casual friday at work this week. Trying to make out that i'm smart, but not too smart lest people take what i say to heart. Trying to make our lives more interesting when really, everyone is moving their own black and white paint in circles attempting to make a colour- any colour. Trying to act nice when I just want to yell shut up you twit. You don't know how tiring it is reining in this desire.How much self control is takes. It wears you down. A guy who did my undergrad degree once said that it's easiest to be yourself and not pretend. He was right. He is right. But if that were the case, this world would be littered with sulky loud-mouthed nut bags. Yes, there is a place for self restraint, and you use online diaries to vent.
Thank you for reading this, if you did read this. If you didn't then this isn't relevant.

1 comment:

Michael said...

You know J, the people you talk about probably don't have to worry about bills or cooking because they still live at home! Take heart, Life isn't just about working and going out on a Friday. Believe me, I feel less sure of myself than I was when I was at uni.

Besides, moving out is a great step towards independence and responsibility... But don't forget to call your parents!